Identity crisis of a married Indian women

   Tum kerti kya ho...ghar mein kaam hi kya hai....meri mummy tumhare kitni help kerti hain....shaadi ke baad to aisa hota hi hai....n the list is endless...these questions n many more of such questions haunt the day to day life of today's middle class married women....

   On one hand they make house into homes....raise generations but still the delima is tum kerti kya ho????

 Life of woman changes drastically after marriage...she has to bear the burden of being good....and each and every passing second the burden of being good wife...daughter-in-law.....mother increases...to the extent that she forgets who she really was.....n believe me this does not happen in any third world....this happens in most of middle class Indian families. Her life gets struck in managing. ....professionalwork .....husband....kids......in-laws.....her own parents......this sandwich has many layers......and making all of them happy or let's say balanced takes soul out of her body... She is supposed to behave in a mature,understanding,caring ...she cannot get angry...or shout....say no for anything n always with a smile on her face.....beacause shaadi ke baad aisa hi hota hai...women are born with the hashtags of maturity...

   What has changed today........now families want educated...groomed.....pay packages wali girl...

   She then looses herself in between all this....her favorite food....her choice of clothes....her festivals....birthdays...nothing reflects her....it is the burden of being good which makes her a lost soul and then too she has no identity.Failure to acknowledge her efforts....denial to accept her sacrifices....lack of appreciation..this is what she gets....

This is the common situation with different magnitudes of identity crisis which women are facing.....She is for everyone but not for herself....she cannot claim her personal space  or life..

  In case one of u is facing this situation of lost identity I have a suggestion....my dear female friend....if u have fallen prey to such a life.....stand for yourself as no one ever will....celebrate yourself....unleash the tigeress  in u....they have  chained u because they know they can't handle u.....

Being  the woman...the creator....the nature....the beauty is identity in itself and not let anyone give or take ur identity from u....ur power is in ur hands do not let anyone govern you....let me remind u of a very old  song....dusaron ki jai se pehle khud ki jai karen...hum ko mann ki shakti dena...

  

              Household chores...inka kaam

 Marriages are made in heaven n houses are made on earth.....People who live in these houses are also earthly creatures....but the chores of the house are heavenly in nature....

During the lockdown phase of corona virus,house help was unavailable in most of the houses due to safety reasons. So the heavenly duties or the household chores became a major tiresome work....But how can we forget.....sharing is caring....so most of the men in the house started sharing the load or to put in better words had to share the load...

To my surprise when I asked the whereabouts of lockdown from my married female friends they said they were busy doing ghar ka kaam but when I asked the same question to my married male friends most of them said inke(wife) kaam mein haath batate hain..

 Since when household chores became gender based...Sharing of responsibility is good but categorization in gender frames is totally unacceptable.....If ghar is dono ka then work is also to be shared by both....that sharing can be done based on their mutual understanding but labeling household chores as inka(wife) kaam is totally old school of thought .If a man wants educated wife then his education should also reflect in his thoughts....which should be justified n appreciable....

Next time if any of my male friends came up with the concept of "inka" kaam for household chores then I would request them ki ghar bhi biwi ke naam kerdo....As jiska ghar uska kaam...atleast lady of the house will have more financial security....

Open-minded husband....was he so?

It was when one of  my friends told me that her husband became a self proclaimed generous gentleman by permitting his wife to wear clothes of her choice.... Her husband  told her that he is a very open minded as he allows her to wear what ever she wants....He is ok with her choice of clothes...
  .. Though my friend was pissed off after hearing him but she chose not to argue...

Later I thought why  was he giving approval when she was not seeking for....
Who has made him superior enough to permit his wife to decide as to what to wear n what not.....
 Her husband has himself given him authority to decide his wife's attire......n he thinks he is generous n open minded in doing so.......was he right.....was he open minded...????or such men called something else....